Story Share!

OK, so I think once a week, im gonna start sharing a story about something funny or traumatic thats happened me. Since we've just passed our 2 year anniversary of moving back to NC, Im inspired to share a story about our move. This ones gonna be lengthy...the entire trip was traumatizing.

So, our plan was to leave Denver on Feb 1 in order to be here before our litter of puppies was due (feb 10) and before I started my new job. We had 2 vehicles to bring (a bronco and a ford truck) that we drove daily, as well as our 'bread' truck, or box truck as John would constantly correct me. The bread truck topped out at 55 miles an hour. (get that? FIFTY FIVE MPH for 1500 miles) Kasey, John's good friend, and Kara, a friend of mine, both agreed to help us drive vehicles to NC. (Kasey flew out, Kara flew back). In hindsight, we probably should'nt have chosen winter, but our home was in foreclosure and we had to be out before March. Anyway, we set out about mid-day, planning to drive as far as our eyes would allow us then sleep. Initially, I was travelling with John in the bread truck, in a computer chair lassoed to the back of the cab of the bread truck. Each turn and I rolled around inside the chair, inside the confines of the seat belt John used to tie the chair to the truck. We created a cat cage inside the truck, in the overhead compartment, so all of our naked cats and hairy cats were inside the truck with is. Yes folks, that means cat turds over your head. Anyway, it rained. Not just a little, but alot. Kara was driving John's truck and Kasey was driving my Bronco. We used the CB radios for communication. Just before Kansas, Kara said she was scared to continue driving (with its 10,000lb full of trailer, bikes, 4wheelers strapped behind her). We stopped and I started driving the truck (since I was going to puke if I had to slide around in that chair much longer!) Getting onto the on ramp, John was going slowly (as it had now switched to snow) and I nearly rear ended him because the brakes werent working. I broadcasted this and the boys acted like Id lost my mind. Anyway, we didnt make it much furthur that night due to the intense snow. We stopped somewhere in kansas to sleep and had to sneak the naked creatures and the heavily pregnant Tate inside in the warm. The other 5 dogs just dog piled in the front seat of the bronco to stay warm. Tate took a massive poop inside the hotel room (hows THAT for inconspicuos?) pretty much immediately, which sent kasey into gagging fits. Not to be outdone, all of the naked cats instantly had to poop as well *luckily, they confined it to a litterbox*. Next morning, we set out again. I still thought the brakes were a little smooshy, but nobody believed me.

We had to stop and get gas every 150 miles - Oh, did I forget to mention that the breadtruck ALSO did not have a working gas guage? Yep, thats right, it was a guess, so we had to keep stopping. Longest. Trip. Of. My. Life. Somewhere along the way, CB communication broke down. My CB would talk to Kasey, Kasey and John could talk to everyone, but John could NOT hear me - not in entirety, he'd either get just voice clips or nothing at all. Kasey spent alot of time translating until he got tired of that.. Anyway, after several nearly misguided accidents where kasey was advising John to merge into traffic (St. Louis & Nashville) and singing our fool heads off over the CB while we were falling asleep (which was interesting trying to sing a verse and getting someone else to finish - John was constantly lost if the verse was up to me), we made it to NC. We were moving to Asheville NC (more specifically, Marshall). That meant a treacherous snake like winding road. We started our decent from the mountains down into the town of Marshall. We're driving and I mention my brakes are squishy. John cant hear, he's not concerned, Kasey thinks im full of crap. Nope, pretty sure brakes are squishy and getting worse. We're going 20 mph down this hill, brakes in check, fairly certain they arent really working. Then, the truck starts getting hot. I need to coast but cant. Put it in neutral, Kasey yells at me...John is still getting snippets. Finally, we round this turn and yep, I have no brakes. Thinking that if I scream, John can hear me, I start screaming that I have no brakes. Kasey still thinks Im pulling his leg (im such a joker, apparently, I would kid about this) but John is picking up on the panic in my voice and can hear Kasey's end of the conversation. He starts advising me blindly and slowing down. Basically, Id push the brakes, nothing would happen. NOTHING. (Oh, except that I would scream and express my anal glands a little bit) His plan was to stop his truck using the bread truck, but ALL I could envision is the grief his messed up truck would cause me in the future. Im trying to out maneuver John since Kasey isnt communicating between us anymore very well. Anyway, round a few more really awkward bends and lo and behold, a runaway truck ramp. I made a snap decision and plowed into it. Good times. Bounce and rattle our way to a stop. Then, the truck starts smoking (actually the brakes) and Kara thinks we're on fire. Its clearly every man for himself cause she bails out and takes off running like SHE is on fire. From all the anxiety, I couldnt stop laughing. Finally the guys made it back and turns out, then they believe me. Isnt that funny? Id been telling em for 1450 miles that the brakes were bad, but NOOOO...I have to hit a runaway truck ramp first. So, Naturally, the final decision is to leave Kara and I on the side of the road while they go to rental house, drop off bread truck and come back to get us. So, kara and I sat on the side of the road for the better part of 2 hours waiting...and waiting...and waiting.... We finally get settled at the house... We wake up at to tate having puppies 6 days early... Ahh...Good times!! And thats my story :)