I ♥ Faces - Hilarious outtakes entry - The waffle rats

On Sunday nights, after working all weekend, we often hit up our local waffle house to raise a ruckus and chill out. We snap pictures to blackmail each other. In the first one, you can tell that whatever was on that cell phone was REALLY traumatizing, and in the second, I was super amused at who knows what while I was trying to wrap myself in that scarf. Enjoy my entry :)

I am married to a man

He is often strange.
He is often silent -especially when it matters.
He tends to go to bed too late.
He oversleeps for work.
He doesnt fold laundry, even when I leave it sitting around.
He forgets to feed the dogs.
He yells really loudly when he is angry.
He despises mismatched socks.
He tends to wear work clothes everywhere he goes.
But, he is my husband.

He feeds the dogs at night (mostly).
He lets out the dogs in the morning so I dont have to get up.
He starts a fire for them when its really cold.
He reminds me to feed my chickens sometimes.
He buys excellent christmas gifts.
He cleans the bathtub cause the cleaner stuff gives me a headache.(hint,hint)
He saves money.
He makes me laugh.
He lets me yell really loudly at him, then he makes a joke.
Yes, he is my husband.

And, I think I'll keep him.
I love you, darlin :)

PEOPLE! Slow the EFF down!

**~**~**~*~**~**~**

Seriously? Its snowing like a crazy freak outside and people are flying on the interstate. It makes me want to V-O-M-I-T. As if the snow isnt stressful enough, please mr. jackassfastdrivingfreak SLOW DOWN. I can assure you that if you lose control of YOUR car while driving like a MORON and slide into mine, I will punch you when I get out. k.

*~*~*~*

Now, on the other hand, if you're driving like ME - slow, cautious, attentive, not texting, and you should lose control of your vehicle, different story. I can say its scary though, to lose control and slide. I did it. For about 200 feet. Sideways. With 3 cars coming at me, 2 behind me. Almost into a bridge, all while screaming "IIIMMMMMM GOOOONNANNNNNNAAANNNAAA WRREEEECCCKKKKKK" followed by hysterical crying trying to figure out if I'd messed myself. I slid, I recovered, and I made it home all in one piece (and I did not soil myself). I AM however, woman enough to admit that it was really totally scary, and I acted very girly and had to call john.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I was also driving the truck that is SUPPOSED to be 4 wheel drive but is malfunctioning (read:ice skates), poor brakes (read:slide thru tollbooth whle trying to brake), and had frozen windshield wipers 3 times on the way home (read:kerriforgottoturnthedefroston malfunctioning im sure) So there. Forecast is calling for 10-15" ive heard. Id say we've got about half that already, looking forward to what tomorrow morning holds :) Im off, so BRING ON THE SNOW!!! We're totally decorating our tree tomorrow...

Has anyone seen the "I heart faces" blog? I think I am in love. I missed the deadline for this week, but its about Pets, so im gonna add a picture anyway. Sue me. (please dont, I merely talk a big game)


Ill admit. I sat in one spot for 2 hours waiting on the perfect picture. I took hundreds. Great lighting that day, lots of good ol' Colorado sunshine pouring in while the branches of my favorite Sheridan tree (i specify the town of Sheridan because I now have a favorite Boonville tree) swung lazily. Finally, the kittens got sleepy and started being really cute. So, I got this. Our bulldog Jersey, snuggled up with the cutest sphynx kitten (yes, thats right, she's supposed to be naked). Hope you like :)

Is it normal to blog twice in one day??

I feel compelled. The funniest most tragic thing just happened to John. He was driving home from work in his old truck. (I say old... I mean OLLLDDD..) He apparently is driving down the back road to get here, when he sees a hawk (or an owl, we arent entirely sure which) sitting on the double yellow munching away on something. Just as he passes it, the bird flies up and hits the side of his truck. He's traumatized, so he calls me to see what he should do. We decide he should go back and take a peek, maybe shoo it off the road if its still there, but it likely is just stunned, not actually harmed. He turns around to go back, and hes telling me about the situation and I hear THUMP followed by him yelling. I said uh what just happened? He screeches "IT JUST HIT ME AGAIN!" Apparently, the poor bird was only stunned long enough for John to drive back. Or, its suicidal. And now, its managed to fly into both sides of the Beast. LOL. And, it has thoroughly traumatized John. Poor guy. No good deed goes unpunished. Ill be sending his counselling bill to the department of fish and wildlife. Thanks alot, stupid bird.

Guess what!?

The Hooooooccccchhhhhhhaayyyy fixed the phone! LOL its free & clear :) Now, its mine, baybay! John is getting something else for christmas! Ive already found the CUTEST phone cover :) (for myself, of course..)


I sent the hoochie this email:
Do you realize that I had my father drive me almost 2 hours to get a phone that doesnt work? its christmas and I keep trying to keep that in mind, but I need resolution to this. I cant believe yuo stood RIGHT THERE and lied to my face. I ASKED if the phone was clear and you said YES! Unreal! Amber, do the right thing. Refund me my money or clear the phone. It was a christmas gift for my husband and I spent most of his christmas money buying a bunk phone from you.

She responded with this:
ok listen here the phone is clear i called verizon today. im sorry i couldnt get back to you yesterday i didnt get home til after midnight. the phone shouldnt have any problems because 1 i bought it at full retail price from verizon and 2 my bill was paid so i dont know what the problem is.


I thought she was lying, but she wasnt, apparently, so I emailed her to thank her and she HAS ME BLOCKED! LOL

Anyway, I have every intention of dragging John out to get our christmas tree tonight.....yAy!!!

Tsk, Tsk. I made a rookie mistake.

So, I bought this fancy schmancy phone off craigslist. (dont know craigslist? Well, you live under a rock). I paid this lady $100 for a Verizon Env3. I drove like over an hour (actually my dad drove over an hour) to meet her. I didnt verify that it had a clear ESN first. I asked her, though, in person, if it had a clear ESN and she assured me that yes it did. It was to be a christmas gift for John. Well, he forgot his phone in WV, so I decided we'd just go ahead and activate it now for him. And, guess what? It doesnt have a clear ESN and CANNOT be activated. Nice, huh??
I called ol Verizon, and they informed that hoochie mama has an outstanding balance and it will be 120 days before its free & clear.... ANGRY.

I keep saying, Kerri, maybe her kids didnt have any christmas and it was desperate times. Im going to keep saying that, but in the mean time, ive found her on facebook, found out where her husband works, and I WILL be visiting with them if this doesnt get resolved. Im going to put her email address with an alert on CL as a scammer if she hasnt atleast returned my call (oh yeah, I called) by tomorrow.

On the upside, our Booth family christmas party was this weekend, and it was great fun! I look forward to it all year! I had to work late on Friday, which put us leaving late on Sat, so we missed the Clark family christmas party, but maybe next year....

Im off to work now! Lets see what we can get in too :)

Whoa Nellie! THe unstables are out in droves! *Caution, language*

So, I had an email correspondance with a lady that I thought was funny. She clearly is wound just a LITTLE too tight.... Hope you enjoy it too :)

Ok, I cant fix it, so just start at the bottom.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Kerri Horne
Date: Wed, Dec 9, 2009 at 11:06 AM
Subject: Re: Iams Adult Large Breed Formula 3-bags, 136lbs total (Greensboro)
To: Stefanie Garrett


Only because you ASSUMED I was being rude I did re-read them, and I sent ALL the emails to several people, who said "wow, did someone wake up on the wrong side of the bed?" Grow up. But I do have to say, I havent gotten an email that said FUCK YOU in a long time. Thanks for the laugh.

On Wed, Dec 9, 2009 at 11:03 AM wrote:
FUCK YOU who are you to call someone an idiot re-read your emails to me, they came off very rude! Hope you have a horrible holiday. Trying to help others out and save someone else some money and it only takes one dumb-ass to fuck it up!

On Wed, Dec 9, 2009 at 10:56 AM, Kerri Horne <kerrihornenc@gmail.com> wrote:
You're an idiot. You did nothing of the sort. You reacted like I was attacking you, and I was merely asking CLARIFYING questions regarding the food. Dont assume people are always out to get you. And, your very last sentence says that I claimed you had too much food, when ALL I did was ask if you had SURPLUS food from buying in bulk. Had I realized I needed to speak slowly for you, I would have. Merry Christmas.

On Wed, Dec 9, 2009 at 10:53 AM, wrote:
Maybe you should have just asked was anything wrong with it. I answered your questions just like you asked them. Thank you.

On Wed, Dec 9, 2009 at 10:42 AM, Kerri Horne <kerrihornenc@gmail.com> wrote:
Ok,you are being reactive. People will sell all kinds of things on here, im just clarifying. Plus, wet food isnt always spoiled, it just needs to be fed faster than food that hasnt gotten wet. My question was Is it bulk food and you have too much, like, did you simply acquire too much food. And excuse me for asking questions to protect my pet.



On Wed, Dec 9, 2009 at 10:39 AM, t <> wrote:
First of all I would NEVER offer wet food or food that has something wrong with it to anyone or any pet! My Great Dane, Rocky of 10 yrs. passed and I no longer need the food instead of going to the pet store every week I always bought at least a months supply at once and more if on sale. So yea I buy in bulk and who are you to say its to much not knowing the situation! Have a nice day!

On Wed, Dec 9, 2009 at 10:03 AM, Kerri Horne <kerrihornenc@gmail.com> wrote:
yeah, iis it like bulk food you have too much, did it get wet? Is there something potentially wrong with it?

On Wed, Dec 9, 2009 at 9:24 AM, wrote:
Whats the story?

On Wed, Dec 9, 2009 at 1:49 AM, Kerri Horne <kerrihornenc@gmail.com> wrote:
I sure am. What is the story on it? Thanks - kerri

On Tue, Dec 8, 2009 at 9:39 PM, wrote:
I still have it if interested

On Tue, Dec 8, 2009 at 7:55 PM, Kerri Horne <kerrihornenc@gmail.com> wrote:

Hi - would love to buy this from you. Thanks - KErri

---

In John Deere Green...

Whats this, you might ask? This adorable, green thing with chickens painted on it??


Or, whats this? this large, in charge, green thing attached to my chicken fence?

Well, its my chickens' new crib! Or coop! (Whichever makes you happy... ) I found this smokin' deal on Craigslist for 100 smackaroos. I couldnt have built it for that...Hell, who am I kidding, I couldnt have built it, but im betting JOHN couldnt have built it for that EITHER. And, im sooo in love with it! Is it normal to be in love with a chicken coop? I dont know either, but I was soo worried that my poor little chickens were gonna freeze to death.

Isnt it wonderful??? (And GINORMOUS)

And, look how snuggly they are! I did have to actually PUT them on the roost the first time, but they'll get it eventually!

Meet Debbie Downer

(Debbie has never been to Dallas, in case you are wondering)

Debbie Downer has spent the last several weeks focusing on negative things.

Debbie has stalled the foster care inspection.

Debbie has gained weight. More than she's willing to admit, so dont ask her. (I mean it, Mom)

Debbie has berated herself for things she has no control over.

Debbie has removed her wedding pictures from the walls and replaced them with a picture of a basket.

Debbie has avoided family.

Debbie has been quiet, and sleeping to avoid leaving the house.

Debbie has done no laundry.

Debbie HAS cleaned the house, but was evil while doing it.

Debbie has not washed any of her husband's socks, therefore causing him to wear mismatched socks (because he doesnt know how to wash them). Debbie secretly enjoys this.

Debbie has been down.

Debbie sometimes feels needy, scared, and unworthy. She sometimes feels unloved and so sad that crying is required.

Recently, Debbie has avoided blogging because its not so easy to have a funny, upbeat post when you are down. Seems that not much funny stuff goes on around you...

I saw Debbie today while I was fixing my hair in the bathroom. She looked fatter, with ratty hair, bushy eyebrows, dry face, chapped lips. Seriously?!

I think Debbie has worn out her welcome.