I ♥ Faces - Hilarious outtakes entry - The waffle rats

On Sunday nights, after working all weekend, we often hit up our local waffle house to raise a ruckus and chill out. We snap pictures to blackmail each other. In the first one, you can tell that whatever was on that cell phone was REALLY traumatizing, and in the second, I was super amused at who knows what while I was trying to wrap myself in that scarf. Enjoy my entry :)

I am married to a man

He is often strange.
He is often silent -especially when it matters.
He tends to go to bed too late.
He oversleeps for work.
He doesnt fold laundry, even when I leave it sitting around.
He forgets to feed the dogs.
He yells really loudly when he is angry.
He despises mismatched socks.
He tends to wear work clothes everywhere he goes.
But, he is my husband.

He feeds the dogs at night (mostly).
He lets out the dogs in the morning so I dont have to get up.
He starts a fire for them when its really cold.
He reminds me to feed my chickens sometimes.
He buys excellent christmas gifts.
He cleans the bathtub cause the cleaner stuff gives me a headache.(hint,hint)
He saves money.
He makes me laugh.
He lets me yell really loudly at him, then he makes a joke.
Yes, he is my husband.

And, I think I'll keep him.
I love you, darlin :)

PEOPLE! Slow the EFF down!

**~**~**~*~**~**~**

Seriously? Its snowing like a crazy freak outside and people are flying on the interstate. It makes me want to V-O-M-I-T. As if the snow isnt stressful enough, please mr. jackassfastdrivingfreak SLOW DOWN. I can assure you that if you lose control of YOUR car while driving like a MORON and slide into mine, I will punch you when I get out. k.

*~*~*~*

Now, on the other hand, if you're driving like ME - slow, cautious, attentive, not texting, and you should lose control of your vehicle, different story. I can say its scary though, to lose control and slide. I did it. For about 200 feet. Sideways. With 3 cars coming at me, 2 behind me. Almost into a bridge, all while screaming "IIIMMMMMM GOOOONNANNNNNNAAANNNAAA WRREEEECCCKKKKKK" followed by hysterical crying trying to figure out if I'd messed myself. I slid, I recovered, and I made it home all in one piece (and I did not soil myself). I AM however, woman enough to admit that it was really totally scary, and I acted very girly and had to call john.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I was also driving the truck that is SUPPOSED to be 4 wheel drive but is malfunctioning (read:ice skates), poor brakes (read:slide thru tollbooth whle trying to brake), and had frozen windshield wipers 3 times on the way home (read:kerriforgottoturnthedefroston malfunctioning im sure) So there. Forecast is calling for 10-15" ive heard. Id say we've got about half that already, looking forward to what tomorrow morning holds :) Im off, so BRING ON THE SNOW!!! We're totally decorating our tree tomorrow...

Has anyone seen the "I heart faces" blog? I think I am in love. I missed the deadline for this week, but its about Pets, so im gonna add a picture anyway. Sue me. (please dont, I merely talk a big game)


Ill admit. I sat in one spot for 2 hours waiting on the perfect picture. I took hundreds. Great lighting that day, lots of good ol' Colorado sunshine pouring in while the branches of my favorite Sheridan tree (i specify the town of Sheridan because I now have a favorite Boonville tree) swung lazily. Finally, the kittens got sleepy and started being really cute. So, I got this. Our bulldog Jersey, snuggled up with the cutest sphynx kitten (yes, thats right, she's supposed to be naked). Hope you like :)

Is it normal to blog twice in one day??

I feel compelled. The funniest most tragic thing just happened to John. He was driving home from work in his old truck. (I say old... I mean OLLLDDD..) He apparently is driving down the back road to get here, when he sees a hawk (or an owl, we arent entirely sure which) sitting on the double yellow munching away on something. Just as he passes it, the bird flies up and hits the side of his truck. He's traumatized, so he calls me to see what he should do. We decide he should go back and take a peek, maybe shoo it off the road if its still there, but it likely is just stunned, not actually harmed. He turns around to go back, and hes telling me about the situation and I hear THUMP followed by him yelling. I said uh what just happened? He screeches "IT JUST HIT ME AGAIN!" Apparently, the poor bird was only stunned long enough for John to drive back. Or, its suicidal. And now, its managed to fly into both sides of the Beast. LOL. And, it has thoroughly traumatized John. Poor guy. No good deed goes unpunished. Ill be sending his counselling bill to the department of fish and wildlife. Thanks alot, stupid bird.

Guess what!?

The Hooooooccccchhhhhhhaayyyy fixed the phone! LOL its free & clear :) Now, its mine, baybay! John is getting something else for christmas! Ive already found the CUTEST phone cover :) (for myself, of course..)


I sent the hoochie this email:
Do you realize that I had my father drive me almost 2 hours to get a phone that doesnt work? its christmas and I keep trying to keep that in mind, but I need resolution to this. I cant believe yuo stood RIGHT THERE and lied to my face. I ASKED if the phone was clear and you said YES! Unreal! Amber, do the right thing. Refund me my money or clear the phone. It was a christmas gift for my husband and I spent most of his christmas money buying a bunk phone from you.

She responded with this:
ok listen here the phone is clear i called verizon today. im sorry i couldnt get back to you yesterday i didnt get home til after midnight. the phone shouldnt have any problems because 1 i bought it at full retail price from verizon and 2 my bill was paid so i dont know what the problem is.


I thought she was lying, but she wasnt, apparently, so I emailed her to thank her and she HAS ME BLOCKED! LOL

Anyway, I have every intention of dragging John out to get our christmas tree tonight.....yAy!!!

Tsk, Tsk. I made a rookie mistake.

So, I bought this fancy schmancy phone off craigslist. (dont know craigslist? Well, you live under a rock). I paid this lady $100 for a Verizon Env3. I drove like over an hour (actually my dad drove over an hour) to meet her. I didnt verify that it had a clear ESN first. I asked her, though, in person, if it had a clear ESN and she assured me that yes it did. It was to be a christmas gift for John. Well, he forgot his phone in WV, so I decided we'd just go ahead and activate it now for him. And, guess what? It doesnt have a clear ESN and CANNOT be activated. Nice, huh??
I called ol Verizon, and they informed that hoochie mama has an outstanding balance and it will be 120 days before its free & clear.... ANGRY.

I keep saying, Kerri, maybe her kids didnt have any christmas and it was desperate times. Im going to keep saying that, but in the mean time, ive found her on facebook, found out where her husband works, and I WILL be visiting with them if this doesnt get resolved. Im going to put her email address with an alert on CL as a scammer if she hasnt atleast returned my call (oh yeah, I called) by tomorrow.

On the upside, our Booth family christmas party was this weekend, and it was great fun! I look forward to it all year! I had to work late on Friday, which put us leaving late on Sat, so we missed the Clark family christmas party, but maybe next year....

Im off to work now! Lets see what we can get in too :)

Whoa Nellie! THe unstables are out in droves! *Caution, language*

So, I had an email correspondance with a lady that I thought was funny. She clearly is wound just a LITTLE too tight.... Hope you enjoy it too :)

Ok, I cant fix it, so just start at the bottom.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Kerri Horne
Date: Wed, Dec 9, 2009 at 11:06 AM
Subject: Re: Iams Adult Large Breed Formula 3-bags, 136lbs total (Greensboro)
To: Stefanie Garrett


Only because you ASSUMED I was being rude I did re-read them, and I sent ALL the emails to several people, who said "wow, did someone wake up on the wrong side of the bed?" Grow up. But I do have to say, I havent gotten an email that said FUCK YOU in a long time. Thanks for the laugh.

On Wed, Dec 9, 2009 at 11:03 AM wrote:
FUCK YOU who are you to call someone an idiot re-read your emails to me, they came off very rude! Hope you have a horrible holiday. Trying to help others out and save someone else some money and it only takes one dumb-ass to fuck it up!

On Wed, Dec 9, 2009 at 10:56 AM, Kerri Horne <kerrihornenc@gmail.com> wrote:
You're an idiot. You did nothing of the sort. You reacted like I was attacking you, and I was merely asking CLARIFYING questions regarding the food. Dont assume people are always out to get you. And, your very last sentence says that I claimed you had too much food, when ALL I did was ask if you had SURPLUS food from buying in bulk. Had I realized I needed to speak slowly for you, I would have. Merry Christmas.

On Wed, Dec 9, 2009 at 10:53 AM, wrote:
Maybe you should have just asked was anything wrong with it. I answered your questions just like you asked them. Thank you.

On Wed, Dec 9, 2009 at 10:42 AM, Kerri Horne <kerrihornenc@gmail.com> wrote:
Ok,you are being reactive. People will sell all kinds of things on here, im just clarifying. Plus, wet food isnt always spoiled, it just needs to be fed faster than food that hasnt gotten wet. My question was Is it bulk food and you have too much, like, did you simply acquire too much food. And excuse me for asking questions to protect my pet.



On Wed, Dec 9, 2009 at 10:39 AM, t <> wrote:
First of all I would NEVER offer wet food or food that has something wrong with it to anyone or any pet! My Great Dane, Rocky of 10 yrs. passed and I no longer need the food instead of going to the pet store every week I always bought at least a months supply at once and more if on sale. So yea I buy in bulk and who are you to say its to much not knowing the situation! Have a nice day!

On Wed, Dec 9, 2009 at 10:03 AM, Kerri Horne <kerrihornenc@gmail.com> wrote:
yeah, iis it like bulk food you have too much, did it get wet? Is there something potentially wrong with it?

On Wed, Dec 9, 2009 at 9:24 AM, wrote:
Whats the story?

On Wed, Dec 9, 2009 at 1:49 AM, Kerri Horne <kerrihornenc@gmail.com> wrote:
I sure am. What is the story on it? Thanks - kerri

On Tue, Dec 8, 2009 at 9:39 PM, wrote:
I still have it if interested

On Tue, Dec 8, 2009 at 7:55 PM, Kerri Horne <kerrihornenc@gmail.com> wrote:

Hi - would love to buy this from you. Thanks - KErri

---

In John Deere Green...

Whats this, you might ask? This adorable, green thing with chickens painted on it??


Or, whats this? this large, in charge, green thing attached to my chicken fence?

Well, its my chickens' new crib! Or coop! (Whichever makes you happy... ) I found this smokin' deal on Craigslist for 100 smackaroos. I couldnt have built it for that...Hell, who am I kidding, I couldnt have built it, but im betting JOHN couldnt have built it for that EITHER. And, im sooo in love with it! Is it normal to be in love with a chicken coop? I dont know either, but I was soo worried that my poor little chickens were gonna freeze to death.

Isnt it wonderful??? (And GINORMOUS)

And, look how snuggly they are! I did have to actually PUT them on the roost the first time, but they'll get it eventually!

Meet Debbie Downer

(Debbie has never been to Dallas, in case you are wondering)

Debbie Downer has spent the last several weeks focusing on negative things.

Debbie has stalled the foster care inspection.

Debbie has gained weight. More than she's willing to admit, so dont ask her. (I mean it, Mom)

Debbie has berated herself for things she has no control over.

Debbie has removed her wedding pictures from the walls and replaced them with a picture of a basket.

Debbie has avoided family.

Debbie has been quiet, and sleeping to avoid leaving the house.

Debbie has done no laundry.

Debbie HAS cleaned the house, but was evil while doing it.

Debbie has not washed any of her husband's socks, therefore causing him to wear mismatched socks (because he doesnt know how to wash them). Debbie secretly enjoys this.

Debbie has been down.

Debbie sometimes feels needy, scared, and unworthy. She sometimes feels unloved and so sad that crying is required.

Recently, Debbie has avoided blogging because its not so easy to have a funny, upbeat post when you are down. Seems that not much funny stuff goes on around you...

I saw Debbie today while I was fixing my hair in the bathroom. She looked fatter, with ratty hair, bushy eyebrows, dry face, chapped lips. Seriously?!

I think Debbie has worn out her welcome.

Charleston & Cincinatti

About 2 weeks ago, I went to charleston to deliver 3 little puppies. Ive never been, but have 2 favorite books (Charleston & On Leaving Charleston) that have always made me want to go. In fact, because of the books, my male child's name will be Tradd. Being able to go was amazing for me, and I had a blast, even though we only stayed a few hours. I did fervently pray that it would NOT rain in charleston. It rained ALLLLLLLL the way TO charleston, hard, ridiculous down pours with hydroplaning and sheets of water, and it rained all the way HOME from charleston, but nary a drop fell on us INSIDE Charleston! I saw Tradd St, had an excellent dinner @ Sticky Fingers, walked around downtown a little bit, spent time at the water and tooks lots of pictures! SOO HAPPY!! Little Angus of course travelled with his momma and I got some adorable pictures of him :).

Cincinatti was basically torture. I was in a bad mood, and my travelling companion was moody and whiny. He griped and moaned about my driving for 16 hours. By the time we hit NC again, I was ready to shoot him, and spent a good amount of time entertaining myself by changing the lyrics of "Goodbye Earl" to include his name and different ways of offing him. Then, laughed hysterically, which woke him up. I was picking up a dog in Cinci. I drove 8 hours to get her. I was mislead and misinformed. Next week, Im returning her. Nice huh?? You win some, you lose some. Atleast it didnt rain on us!



`

Our latest adventure :)

Jessica and I went to Macon GA for a concert... Guess who? LOL Anyway, here is the cutest picture ever!


Get it? Between Jennings and Jones? Go here to check out the song!

Anybody need a puppy????

They are adorable :)
They are affordable.
They are ahairless.
ok, the last one was a stretch, but you get the picture.

My head is at peace, finally.

Ive spent all day looking at Etsy, (and if Im honest, I also spent MOST of last night,and all of yesterday afternoon looking at Etsy), perusing the baby sections. Now,Im pretty sure that I need to SOMEHOW, albeit foster, adoption, birth,theft lost & found get me
one of these:

or one of these:











Or one of these:












And, Ive come to realize that we have no set path. He and I are on this road together, wherever that may take us. It could get really ugly before it gets beautiful. All I request is that if one of THESE 17 lb-ers
is in my future, PLEASE dont let it be a natural delivery :)

Daily musings of a chicken :)

No, not a real chicken...just me, the chicken...

So, on a semi-unthought out-self satisfying whim, I called up my dr to discuss the future of her assistance with my currently infertile womb. Apparently, in her books, all was a green light, and she was MORE than ready to help. About 15 phone calls later, the helpful nurse called in a prescription of Clomid to our local pharmacy. I am due to start it mid- November. I am scared to death. When I think about it, I need to vomit. So, apparently, I am a huge weenie, with no uh..well, you know...

Fostering is something that we are both still VERY much on board with, but at the same time, I keep thinking that Im doing nothing but getting older. What if I wait 3 years to start TRYING to get pregnant again? That puts me at almost 30, and then you're dealing with an entirely DIFFERENT can of worms! My initial thoughts were that I would just complete my weight loss, then try again. Even that will see me into the middle of next year before I even ATTEMPT again. Im just not sure I can get on board with that. Ya know?

So, the moral of the story is Im going to man up, and I'll let you know how it goes :) We have our home inspection on Nov 28. Hold your breath for us, so I can focus on the other. And now, im off to see what the dog is doing, since I can see her digging at the fence...I sure hope it isnt a snake!!

Home visit!

Home visit is coming up soon....Not as soon as before, since I rescheduled it (read:weenie) but soon enough! We've got alot of stuff to get ready before then! Im excited but definitely ready to vomit :)

Milk aint cuttin it.

So, whoever told you (and me) that milk was "cooling" was full of crap. I tried putting milk on the burning tips, and I tried applying milk to John's burning nose, to no avail. For the most part, his nose quit burning about an hour afterwards, but my fingers were really painful. They remained at a dull ache for most of the day yesterday, then flared up after my shower and REALLY got to throbbing. I called my grandma, thinking that if nothing else, SHE would have done this to herself....She suggested lemon juice and enjoyed a great laugh at my expense. I think lemon juice is an accelerant. Clearly. After a small soak in lemon juice, I had to then run cold water over my fingers just to be able to tolerate it! TERRIBLE. I drove all the way into town with my fingers hanging out the window. Finally, they slowed down to a small throb, then went away altogether (the sensation, not the finger tips) late last night. My fingers are sore :(

My fingers are burning, Kentucky is gorgeous, and Jamey's wardrobe needs variety.

OK, so tonight I made Jalapeno poppers, homemade style. I cut up all the cute little peppers, filled them with cream cheese and topped with shredded cheese. I made 2 batches. Batch one went perfectly, tasted perfectly, job well done. We made batch 2, and Im suffering. My fingers are ON FIRE. Apparently, its advised that one wears gloves during the cutting/stuffing. The oil in the pepper can seep into your skin and stay with you for DAYS... This is terrible news. John rubbed his nose. His nose is red and burning. My lips are on fire, my fingers are on fire...and I have to keep remembering not to touch my self, or I will reinfect an already cooled area (chewing my nails is OUT for tonight :) ).



My concert trip went well. Jess lives off of a road that could be in a movie. The entire road is lined with gorgeous fencing, green, green grass and horsies. Apparently some of them are million dollar horses (although, they looked like just horses to me..) I almost ran off the road several times trying to get a better glimpse of things. The weather was perfect, the clouds were perfect...All in all a great experience. My tour guides were knowledgeable and well versed. I saw a distillery, a mill, about 20 different counties, some wigwams, and ate at a 50's diner.


























The concert was fantastic, as was expected. Unfortunately, Jamey needs some wardrobe help. He's constantly wearing a black tshirt! I will get him a red one :) lol. Anyway, since ive been accused of making 80% of my blogging about this, I'll stop here. Just know, it was amazing. Here are pictures :)
Oh, and Tina, he isnt local...He is a country singer...www.jameyjohnson.com

Gearin up for Bowling Green....

Im driving to Kentucky on Friday for a Jamey concert...SOOO excited!! I also hear rumors that I might get to see a distillery? And some horses? Maybe that is if I am awake? Im fairly certain that after working every day this week, I'll be ready to take a freakin nap. I might even sleep through the concert!! lol, yeah right. Ill be posting pictures of it, of course. If you ask Wifey, she'll say I could just post pictures of other concerts now and they'd look just the same. lol. oh ye of little faith. Jamey will wear a different colored shirt this time, I can just feel it!! Peace out homies!

Internalizing.

So, its taken me some time to realize this is actually whats happening. Its foreign to me, I talk about EVERYTHING. Literally, there isnt much I wont touch on. Anything from what we had for breakfast to strange places Ive found toilet paper...Its all fair game. It occurred to me, however, that I am completely reticent to speak about whats going on in the foster care classes (MAPP). They are completely overwhelming to me! We've talked about poor kids with cigarette burns on their backs (and they are 18 months old), poor kids who've been so sexually abused they cant socialize in public without nervously masturbating. Poor kids who eat ramen noodles that their 5 year old big sister warms up for them in the sink. Kids that sleep on the floor because their parents take the bed. Kids that know about porn and 5 year old kids that know how to make a bottle for their 6 month old little sister. Its terrible. I could sit in a ball and cry for days. Or, I can visualize myself stabbing their ignorant parents in the eyes with hot rods.

I, myself, need to run away, and I cant imagine how these lost children feel! I am so scared, but so very thankful that life has lead us in this direction. I have an amazing urge to make an impact on these kids. Its making me violent because I need it to be happening now. Ive wanted to fight since we've started it. Im not interested in ANYONEs negative opinion. Anyone. I mean that. I get it, we get it. Its scary, inevitably, our hearts will suffer, our home will suffer, and our life will suffer. We get it. Its ours though, to throw into this, completely. In advance, I apologize to our family and friends. They too, will be involved, and they too will suffer broken hearts, but hopefully, we mean enough to all of you to give it a shot, with us. Side by side. Not only will we go through hard times, but we will hear laughter, and playing and happy sounds and happy times, I cant wait to be the people that expose a child to a puppy for the first time, or takes a child to the zoo for the first time, or the beach, or to visit a family that feeds him/her and holds him and loves him, and gives him attention because he/she is adorable, not because they can now get a beer out of the fridge. Amazing prospect. Truly humbling.

Ok, this is all over the place. Im sorry. I had alot to say, cause, after all, ive been internalizing.

And then, as a special haha for a friend of mine (true story):
A man came to my house today. From far away, he looked like you. Then, his name was Daniel. My dog bit his calf. He lied and said it didnt happen. He was bleeding.

Ok, random enough for ya'll? Love ya :) -k

The little baby chickens meet the big chickens...

I guess that neither one of those is accurate. The baby chickens arent really babies, and the big ones are still not actually that big but whatever. Anyway, We're gonna introduce them tonight....im pretty excited!! We'll see how it goes! Thats all I have for you...

This weekend ROCKED!!!!

Ok, so I bucked up and went to the beach alone. Ive NEVER done anything like that before, so it was a really big deal (to me, but everyone else thought I was being a freak). Im SO glad I did it!!!

So, first, I must've looked really lost, cause when I first got there, this really nice group of people "adopted" me. They had me sit with them and hang out with them during waiting part and then the opening band. I was really uncomfortable at first but quickly got over it! Towards the end of the opening band, we all went to the front, and I got front and center with the microphone. Basically, I could've jerked the microphone stand off stage if I was so inclined, lol. Anyway, when Jamey came out, I was so close, it was PERFECT!! He played for almost 3 hours... Lots of songs Id never heard him do live before..

Afterwards, I ran into Arlis, who realized I had the jamey shirt, and he said he was taking me on the bus to get it signed. After I finished vomiting from nerves, I agreed that sounded like a great idea. lol. Unfortunately, in the interim, I picked up a straggler girl with a picture to be signed, and Arlis wouldnt take us both on the bus. Oh well. He did take my shirt and girls picture in to get signed though, and after about 20 minutes, Jamey decided to come OUT and sign my shirt for me :) So, we hung out and chatted about 15-20 minutes before they had to pull out (the other bus had already left). He gave me a hard time about the shirt and wanted to draw on it, so he drew a picture of himself (hilarious, btw). Nobody else (except picture girl) and myself got a meet & greet. I was stoked :)

Then....Jess called me at 9 and woke me up (after getting in bed at 5am, I was stilllllll exhausted) I took the fastest shower in the history of mankind, brushed my teeth with my finger (forgot my toothbrush) and headed out of Myrtle Beach. She and I got to my house within 10 minutes of each other (I was racing her when I wasnt falling asleep driving, lol). We ate a quick meal and headed out to Danville (she drove, thankfully). I made it to Greensboro before I went into a 30 minute coma. The Danville concert kicked butt! We both bought us some fancy shmancy shirts (Jamey shirts,of course) and will be stylin in some upcoming shows :). James Otto was semi-gay, but has cool points for helping with In Color. After the show, Arlis took my shirt to get it signed, and jamey signed over top of his name (he's a turd) and then had Otto sign the back (*Note:IF James Otto had signed the front, I would've thrown a huge fit and cried, lol).

The entire weaekend was soooo busy, I feel like it was just, Idk, flying (not with angels, mind you). I cant WAIT for our next trips! We're gonna have so much FUN!!!!

So Shoot me, I lied.

Still blogging! Headin to the beach today for a Jamey concert! WHooHooo!! Updates when I get back :)

Im not blogging anymore.

So There.

Ive been inspired.

I just read Mckmama's post (ya'll know her, right? She's like, famous!) about her friend, automated voice lady, and it made me think of bout a year a time when a NOT so automated voice caused me just as many problems.

In Feb 2008, we moved cross country, from Denver CO to Asheville NC. We arrived at our rental house around 9pm with 10 dogs and 6 cats. We hurredly unpacked and basically went right to bed. One of our dogs was due to deliver pups and the move caused her to go into labor. I got up at 4am and started assisting. In the midst of this, I was reminded tha we had no cable and no phone internet. I started with phone service.

I called up the ol phone company and got friendly, non-automatedMckmama's post people. I input my information successfully through the first people. I was exhaused though, and quickly having a hard time focusing on both delivering pups and setting up phone service. The final lady I had to deal with apparently inputted the most important information of all. Here is how this part went. Her: Ok, ma'am, its time for me to verify your contact information. I have you down @ 1233 Locust Road, Marshall NC. Me: Yep, thats correct. Her: Ok ma'am, I have your zip code as 27283. Me: uhhh Yep, i think thats correct. Her: Ok, ma;am, I have your first name as Kerri. Me: yep, thats correct. Her: Ok, and your last name is Shome. Me: No, its Horne *chuckle*. Her: Home? Me: Horne. Her: Harm? Me: no, H-O-R-N-E, HORNE, like a CAR Horn, except with an E. Her: OH, ok ma'am, i got it all corrected for you. Me: Oh good, thank you so much *sleepy chuckle*. Her: ok, i will forward you into our automated contract system now, just agree verbally to the terms.


First bill comes about 2 weeks later, KERRI CARHORNE. Yep, Kerri freakin Carhorne. Oh, and guess what? When I call to correct the name? I must actually drive DOWN to the office and show PROOF of my REAL name!? Are you kidding? I can sign up on the phone!!! So, anyway, they never did fix it. We are now the Carhorne's. LOL.

The time has come...

for another entry. Lame, I know, but Im constantly struggling for opening statements.

So, just so you know, my keyboard makes me nuts. No mindless typing for me...Nope, 100% of the time I have to be completely aware of where my cursor is, or I type sentences that make no sense whatsoever. They end up looking like a drunk person hacked them out. Or, for some reason, this computer, this precious little Dell laptop, will copy things and then randomly paste them into my typing. Sometimes, whole pages from facebook just appear in my paragraphs. Isnt that crazy? What causes this? I cant decide if its this laptop or this program system (Ubuntu). For the time being, im blaming Ubuntu.

The family all came in for brother's 21st birthday. We had our pictures done in "old timey" fashion. They are adorable! Im so glad we did it. Last time I was involved in one of those pics, I was too fat for many of the options. This time, I got to wear a hoop skirt (which I definitely couldnt do last time). Im glad Ive reached the 45lb mark in my weight loss. Well, actually, now Ive exceeded it a tiny bit...Gettin closer to 50lbs every day though!! 60lbs is actually my first "MAJOR" goal in this process, and that is definitely within sight.


We hit up another concert on Monday. This one really makes me feel like a stalker LOL. We drove 3 hours each way, to the WV state fair, just to see Jamey perform for approx 30 minutes (he actually sang longer, but we were late and missed the first couple songs). Then, he left, so we didnt even get to 'meet' him. Wifey did go with, which made it a great trip anyway. Side note: Im working on getting her to sing at the top of her lungs...She is still a rather...reserved singer in the car. Me, on the other hand? Im loud and obnoxious :) (gasp! You could never believe THAT!). We sat through most of Gary Allan at the concert and he did about 2 songs that were good, and one that I could identify with atleast PART of the lyrics (Just got back from Hell?) This picture is what we felt like with Gary.

Now, im just sitting around waiting on Thursday, which starts my work week.. Yay.

Wish I had another concert to go to tonight :)

Our classes start soon, only about 3 more weeks!!! (Also, my next concert is Sept 5) WHOO HOO!!

This quite possibly means Im a bad person....

But I heard the funniest story today. It isnt nice, and results in death of the subject. But here goes.

My moms neighbor, B, and his wife, E, came over to the gathering we had for my brothers 21st. We started talking about my cute little chickens, and he said they used to have 2. Apparently, unbeknownst to them, Gretyl, the hen, was sneaking into the shed and getting into what SHE thought was a bag of chicken food. Over a couple days, poor gretyl broke into her new found stash several times. When B & E returned home one night, Gretyl was laid out, dead. They picked her up only to find that she weighed ALOT more than normal. They did some snooping, and found out that Gretyl had been eating concrete mix. LOL. She thought it was food, when in reality, it was powder concrete. Poor, poor chicken. But come on, it IS a good story! Ok, well you dont HAVE to enjoy it.

Introducing Carcin

Carcin is our newest addition. He's a naughty little kitten. He smothers me with affection, climbs things, yowls when we put him up for the night, and likes to claw my ears while Im napping. Carcin is Hagen's friend. Hagen has gone from a 12 cat household to a 1 cat household and he's lonely. He walks the floor at night, crying and meowing looking for someone to snuggle with him. Its really sad.

Im so happy to only have 2 cats now :) Its amazing. Well, 2 cats and Bobo, the sphynx -still looking for placement. He doesnt count though, since he'll SOON be finding a home. Anyway, here are pictures. Enjoy :)

I will not hear lip about this :)

My small victory. A Tumor?

On Sunday, when i walked into work, the previously mentioned winch that I deal with, started cracking up. I said "uhh what?" since I was kinda confused. She was like Oh Kerri, your clothes are sagging off of you!. Made me happy, since she takes every opportunity to rag at me for my diet, or my choice of losing weight. Atleast she's noticing!

Then, tonight, in Walmart (love me some walmart!), I rubbed the small of my back. I noticed something didnt feel quite right, so I rubbed a different way (not the WRONG way, per se, just a different way) and realized that it feels like a fatty tumor, on a dog. Its mobile, squishy, non-painful. I had a small stroke right there in walmart and started screaming in my best "trying not to panic yet really panicking" voice for John. He definitely thought this was amusing. Apparently you cannot SEE this tumor but he can feel it (which is saying something, cause when our naked cats were 62 days pregnant and the babies were LITERALLY kicking their feet and making pokey places in the stomach, he couldnt feel them). I suppose I'll be making trip #2 to my new family dr. Atleast he's a hot red head :)

Now, Ill be headin on over to visit all my friends blogs and check out some updates... Had me some more coffee...I'll be up a while :)

The class.

So, we had the big scary class. Or Orientation, or 'weed out the weenies', or whatever you wanna call it. It was a big deal! We had a great time though, learned alot, and Im still terrified. We start our MAPP (Model Approach to Parenting and *something*, im guessing starts with a P) in Sept. It'll go for 10 classes, 30 hours. Then, we'll have home visits and stuff like that. its gonna be great! Im really really excited, but scared. I cant wait to see what the future brings for us :)

The gun fire is KILLING me...

Really!! Im going to have an aneurism if they dont quit shooting their freaking guns!!

Every day for 7 days, about 5 minutes apart....BOOM(echo,echo,echo)..silence....BOOM(echo,echo,echo).

It seems today that there are 3 guns shooting? Im all about country living but people, this is getting ridiculous.

And today, the dogs are barking at the gunfire, which leads me to believe it IS getting closer.

I think we're under siege. Maybe I should get out my rifle and start shooting??

*update* The officer told me its a potato gun(s) at the vineyard, which shoots air and stuff at the birds to keep them from eating the grapes. Lovely. He said that luckily, its almost harvest time.

Up again.

This late night gig is becoming has become a habit. I cant even blame the coffee this time. I drank it early, around 10.

I want to say THANKS Tina, for your kind words. I really appreciate you taking the time out of what must be an insanely busy day to give me a pep talk. I spent today feeling very insecure and nervous, and your words helped. I also want to tell you that I cant wait to see pics of your new baby :) And Goodluck on the delivery (do you SAY Goodluck?, is that appropriate?) At any rate, Thanks again!

I emailed the social worker today and asked her if it was normal to be scared to death. She said she hasnt bitten anyone in a long time. Thank goodness she has a sense of humor. I needed that, too. She said it was perfectly normal, and all would be well :) I guess we'll know more tomorrow, after our class! Ive already dressed us in 40 different outfits...Atleast, in my head. I am trying to convince myself that I DO NOT need a new shirt. Because of my weight loss, my clothes are starting to fit slightly strange, but I think i'll be fine tomorrow. Im so nervous! I hope they dont check my fingernails...they'll think im a compulsive fingernail eater :) (Dont worry mom, i washed my hands first). Now, John's fingernails on the other hand...his might've been dirty when I attacked THEM. Only kidding :) Updates tomorrow!!

The late night musings of a coffee drinker.

About 10 oclock, I got the bright idea to have some coffee. 4 cups. 8 packs of splenda, 1 tsp of sugar free creamer. Not decaf. Sleep? Cant sleep. Go figure. Ive already tried rousing husband for conversation. No go. (All I got was a busted lip when he got startled and jerked his fist up.)

Ive designed the chicken coop and fence 3 times. Ive planned our asheville trip to see Randy Houser 3 times. Ive swept the entire house. Once. Checked on the chicks a couple of times. Filled the fish tank. Imagined what Baby Sherman(s) will look like...9 times. (lol, not really 9 times)
Now , im rambling blogging. (As if you didnt know). Apparently, this is the hour when I am most functional. I feel great. My ever permeating headache is gone (Thx coffee, no Thx Ibuprofen!) Ive had 2 liters of water today, and coffee did the trick! The scales are almost giving me positive numbers (here, positive really means negative) since my 10lb gain during loading. That was extremely painful, mind you.

I am finding myself worrying - no, stroking out, over the foster care situation. Will we be accepted? Will the child get to stay with us? Will we even GET a child? Should we go through with it? Are WE stable enough in our relationship to HAVE that responsibility? Are we mature enough? Grown enough? Financially secure enough? Is it easy to fall in love with a baby that isnt your flesh & blood? If its easy for me, will John feel the same way? Im scared. I admit. Im scared to fail some child ive never seen. Im scared to fail my SELF. Im scared WE will fail. I look at people around me having babies, and although I want that, I also know that I want to do THIS. Ive wanted it forever. Adoption has always been something I felt strongly about. I just never realized how scary it was until it was a reality. I always looked at the parameters, and said Ha! You have to be 25...Thats a ways from now...except, it IS now. Wow. Its now. Thats huge! In 6 months, John and I could be foster parents. A baby. A toddler. Maybe siblings. Huge. And now.

Id say wake up, except Im wide awake. Man, its a scary world.

I have...

absolutely nothing to blog about. Nothing. Nada. I cant think of a single thing.
Enjoy my honesty :)

Loading days!

OK, im headed back into Phase 2. (P2,R2). Today is day #1, my first loading day. Im fairly certain that loading days were created to make you realize how much food you USED to eat, before you became aware of it. I went to lunch today. I had a footlong hotdog and fries, a cookie and a drink. I could BARELY eat it. It literally took me 30 minutes to finish it. Now, im so full i could puke. And, Ive barely even started! I have more meals today, as well as TWO MORE DAYS of loading! Im feeling sicker just thinking about it :( *PUKE*

The beach, recovering from my maiming, and baby Stellan, in no particular order:

First - Please pray for Baby Stellan. He needs our prayers! He is a tough spot right now, duking it out with life for a safe, slow, happy heart rate.

My elbow is nearly completely healed. Still painful, but definitely doesnt look like the elbow clap anymore. I went through a stage where I was pretty angry with it, but im over it now, for the most part. It did culture as MRSA, and the doxycycline, according to mr. Ihavecarrotredhaironmyfacesoyoucanhaveahardtimeconcentratingonwhatimsaying. (did you get all that?) will kick it the first time. He says I will not become a carrier. He gave me creme for my nose, and advised it wouldnt be a bad idea for John to do it either. If I get it again, I might go postal...or postal staph on John. LOL.

Anyway, the beach was great. I enjoyed everyones company and felt like it was something that we could do again. I do admit that I feel like a boring person when I go places like that and cannot keep myself entertained. Or I sit and wonder how everything is at home, and if my chickens miss me :( The weather was PERFECT. So perfect, in fact, that the sharks were frisky.
On Saturday, the entire day was spent either in 5 inch water, or on the beach, since the sharks were constantly being spotted. Jared was nearly eaten. We had to pull his body from the jaws of a shark...well, not really, but he was apparently only 20 feet from a shark, and the lifeguard said it was circling him. We'd been there about 45 seconds. Long enough for Jared to put his stuff down and run (baywatch style, mind you) out into the ocean! Crazy!! That sure woulda changed the tone of the vacation.
The officer that I asked about it said that apparently its shark mating season (fish mating season in general) and the waters that were murky had sharks and sting rays in them right now (Murky water -20-40ft from 5" water). He told me (amidst all the ma'ams, even though he was my age) that their concern was that the sharks, which were only surfacing enough to see their dorsal fins, were Hammerhead sharks, and apparently, they hunt in paLcks. Which I took in translation to mean: Ma'am, if you put your pasty legs and arms in the water, looking like a squid, they will eat you for an 'after friskin' snack. Uh, yeah, thankyouverymuch, Ill sit on the sand.

Ahh...the sand...
The crabs were apparently breeding too... Ive never been able to really appreciate that there were crabs in the sand. John reached into the sand and came up with yep, you guessed it, a handful of sand! 3 crabs! Yucko. Ruined for me, i tell you.
Thats it, pretty much. We didnt swim. I lost all appeal for the ocean. As far as Im concerned, you can put some sand next to my swimming pool and Ill be happy as a clam. The worst thing you have to worry about in a POOL is a stupid frog (which is STILL scary, but mostly disgusting). Ew gives me the heebie jeebies just thnking about the frogs... Anyway, thats it! Enjoy the pics!

Peace, homes!

Life's a Beach :) A Carolina Beach, that is.

We're heading to the beach tonight! Yippee!!! Im SOOO excited I can hardly stand it. Its been 4 years, atleast, since Ive been to the beach, and probably even longer since John has been. Warning: I will be going into the water, with my MRSA infected arm :) Hopefully the sharks wont eat me. Mom, Dad and Brother are already down there, waiting. I hope they dont soak up all the sun before we get there!!

We're all packed, dogs are ready (for the most part), house is clean(thanks to John!) and we're ready to hit the road! I'm debating on wearing my bathing suit under scrubs, but I think I'll just skip that, and change when I get home....

My arm culture still hasnt come back, so the cannot definitively tell me it is MRSA.. Im currently waiting on them to call and give me the results. Ive called twice today, with no return. But fear not, eventually, I will know. I am less angry in general about it, but still touchy.

Little angus posed for some great shots this morning! I was SUPER stoked to be getting home when the light was hitting the bed, just so I could take adorable pictures of my boy :) Well, super stoked about the lighting, less than impressed about the hour of home arrival. At any rate, alls well that ends well, I got a 4 hour nap, a few good shots of Angus, and plenty of good cheer to last the day!

I'll definitely be updating when i get back to put some beach pics up! WHOOO HOOOO!!!!

Ive been hit with a staph

So, mr. elbowbiter was a figment of my imagination.

I finally went to the dr today, after several days of anguishing over it (both my arm and having to go to the dr) and turns out its a MRSA infection. He isnt 100% positive yet, but he cultured it and I'll know for sure by thursday. Nice, huh? Im angry. Very angry.

Im trying to rationalize this. I'll get back to you on how thats going for me.

My favorite nurse. Spider venom that maims.

My favorite nurse called this morning. Who's that?, you might ask? Well, I cant tell you. Its a mistake that I did not find out her name secret! Cant a girl just keep a few things to herself? She had all the answers to my questions this morning. Its amazing that sometimes they take F-O-R-E-V-E-R to call you back, and Ive essentially had 3 phone calls this week!,

Anyway, my dr lady says she doesnt think I should do anything different now. She wants me to continue losing weight, eating healthy and being active. She wants me to have my bloodwork rechecked one more time, likely @ my physical in Jan, and then, she'll help me get pregnant... (I mean she will help me by giving me medications, she wont actually BE there for the activities..I can see that now "ok, honey, this goes here..." umm eww and no thanks..). Im pretty stoked! My impression from the favorite nurse was that Nona felt like I was going to BE pregnant by Jan if I was not using protection. She asked twice if I wanted to get pregnant NOW. I kept explaining that we've decided to wait til the first of the year so that I can reach my weight loss goals FIRST. This has been an excellent week so far... All good news! The nurse agreed with me, btw, and said that Nona had looked at my bloodwork and agreed it was likely due to weight issues, and that my thyroid would probably be COMPLETELY normal when I reached my goal weight!
Even thought It would NOT change anything, I still cant believe that nobody has asked WHAT I am doing to lose weight. I surely will not offer up that information unless probed questioned, but I am certainly NOT ashamed of it!

OK enough boring stuff!

I was bitten by the bug. No, No, silly, NOT the Jamey bug. The SPIDER bug. Apparently, it was hanging out in my WV sweatshirt. When I put it on and went to bed, Mr. IthinkElbowslooktasty (Yes, he is related to Bob Wehadababyitsaboy) BIT ME. Yep, you guessed it. Right on the elbow. The left elbow, to be exact. Initially, it was slightly painful, slightly red, non-swollen. John made jokes at me all day about how whiny I was being. Yesterday, when I woke up, the backside of my arm was swollen with a huge knot. Now, I cant straighten my arm out all the way. I feel certain that the venom has moved into the elbow joint and could shoot to my brain at any second. I could just be typing along and BAM! I'm toast from spider venom. Wouldn't that be terrible? You people would forever be wondering what else I was thinking for today! Oh,the tragedies you would suffer at my hands!

I am opening up the floor to people who feel moved by this, and would like to step forward and volunteer to suck the venom out.

We're expecting puppies again :) Tate AND Pelo are both expecting cute little litters around mid-september. They will EACH have some adorable little puppies. (wasn't that nauseatingly cutsie?)

Im riding high for now... If only Jamey would call...

The bloodwork results are in

(Drumroll please...)

The phone rings, I answer. She ID's herself as the nurse. She says my thyroid results are back. She says everything is normal, (NORMAL, PEOPLE!!,NORMAL) and Nona (the midwife lady) says to just continue taking your medication like you have been. Me: (Chuckle) I havent been taking it. At all. Nurse lady: Oh, well, at all? Me: Nope. Nurse lady: ever?
Me: Nope (I did take it for 1 week, sporadically, but thats been months and months ago, if its still effective, ill just take one pill a month, lol). She was clearly at a loss for words, so I started explaining to her that I had a hard time believing that I had a thyroid condition, much less a condition that was strictly familial, with no family history. So, I bucked up, lost almost 40lbs and wanted it rechecked. She said well, it was clearly working because it was dead on normal. WHOO HOOO!!! I was right and they were wrong, nananaananana boooo boooo!

Oh what a day!

Today has sucked. The animals have been a major pain, slightly overwhelming and my chickens aren't hatching! AAGGGHHHH!!

My Hair dryer has ringtones. And voices.

Anytime I am in the bathroom, drying my hair, I hear people talking. I am suspicious by nature. Each time I HEAR the talking, I have to turn the hair dryer off and wait a couple seconds to be absolutely positive there are not strange people invading my house. Sometimes, the hair dryer likes to do something different. It plays ringtones. Then, I have to turn the hair dryer off, and wait to be sure my phone isnt ringing. Or, go and find my phone to be SURE I havent missed a call.

Why dont I just ignore it? Well, occasionally, I will ignore these things, only to find that I HAVE missed a call, or the mailman is at my door. I think the hair dryer is trying to run me crazy.

Im off today!!

So, because of that, I woke up in a good mood. We're heading up to Lowes in Elkin shortly, to get some supplies for our cute little chickens. (I say OUR and WE, it means John is building the fence, lol) Im planning to order about 16 more chickens and im SO excited! Anyway, I'll update with some pics of what we create, shortly. Whoo hoo!

Well, well, well

The nurse called this morning from the dr, and she has agreed to re-request part of my labs. Now, I just have to get the courage up to go IN there and have my blood drawn. Not a fan of needles, when they are being directed at me. I can use them ALL day long at work, just dont try and poke me. The rabies shots nearly did me in. One vaccine a week, which definitely involves a needle, for several weeks. No thank you. I kept imagining myself with Rabies though - Slobbery and disoriented, with wild hair, and yellow fur..oh wait. no fur. Anyway, that helped me get through it. At any rate, Ill let you know how it goes!

Im off this Saturday, and trying in earnest to figure out something exciting for John & I to do! Any ideas?

My blog is posessed. Earlier I looked @ Tshirthell.com. Apparently, part of it wanted to come to my blog with me? Now I cant delete it.

Perhaps im losing my mind? Its gone now.

Blah...

I feel blah. I feel like Im stuck in the doldrums. I need to be moving forward with things, and everything is on hold. Normally, im planning for something. Or, I have something to manage. Everything is at a standstill!
My diet cannot restart until the first of August - That, in and of itself, is akin to pulling out eye teeth. I KNOW whats out there, I KNOW the potential, yet I am forced to drudge along through these phases. I realize, logically, that they go hand in hand, and one without the other cannot be indefinitely successful. Its just frustrating!!

The new dogs settled in without a fuss, the chickens are easy (albeit still inside), the dogs are simple now, the cat issues have resolved... I need a project!

I called the dr today to discuss bloodwork. I Spoke with the nurse about my thoughts and my weight loss. I want to have the same tests repeated to see if my thyroid function has corrected, as well as my hormones for pregnancy. In my heart, I feel like my thyroid issues are just a result of my weight, and im anxious to have that proven on paper. Plus, if I start the bloodwork now, and can convince her to re-run it every 2 months or so, then I will have her help with fertility when I want it (if I need it). Her last thoughts on the matter were th at I needed to go to the endocrinologist, stabilize with him for 6-9 months and THEN consider getting pregnant. He diagnosis me with an inherited disorder- an inherited disorder that no person before me (in my family, I mean) has. His solution was to just take meds for the rest of my life. Well, thats freaking perfect. Thank you so much, sir. So, essentially, Im using that same time frame to lose my weight, then we will start trying again. The first 38lbs knocked out most of my symptoms. John & I realized on our way to Nashville that I was still awake...and in the car. Those 2 almost never go hand in hand (unless im driving, dont worry). My dry skin has resolved, Im not freezing cold all the time, and I actually have energy. Im preaching, I know. Its just frustrating to me to be in a situation where my hands are tied.

Today (really yesterday, by now) has been long, boring, and wasted. I feel like I got nothing accomplished. I feel like I squandered it away. Im just not happy right now. I need to be whiny. And mean. I think they might refer to this as hormonal. Call it what you will :)

Oh, and PS! You peeps who read this blog, overall, are horrible commenters. I read other peoples blogs, and they arent even INTERESTING and they get one or two LOTS of comments! Whats the dealy-yo?

Oh, and for some reason, this completely random button has shown up. LOL I have ABSOLUTELY no clue what it does or where it came from. I cannot, however, delete it. I suspect that, if clicked, it will take you into a timewarp, where you will become a member of some scary cult like gathering of ...aliens?

See it? The freaky button? Yeah, idk

Newest Additions.

Thanks Johnna for making it possible :) We're both really happy with the new kids on the block. - If only we can convince JJ(thats his name, its fate huh? Get it? JJ - Jamey Johnson?) that peeing on Pelo's kennel is inappropriate. LOL


Capelli
Capelli scoping out the couch
Me & Capelli
JJ - begging to be held
See how photogenic she is?